So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
