How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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