Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
