oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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