Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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