I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
