If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
