Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
