i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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