Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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