dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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