Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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