They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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