How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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