yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
