hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
