He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
