capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize