Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
