My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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