Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
