I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
