I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
