If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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