well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
