Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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