I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize