im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My bed smells like the plague
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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