I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
