i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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