All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize