i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
