Joe is yelling at the trees again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
