You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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