You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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