I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
