someone get that fucking seahorse.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
