good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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