Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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