i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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