I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
