atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize