I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
