I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize