Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hello my rib-scented angel!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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