i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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