Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize
