Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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