idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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