So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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