I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
