He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
