I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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